History in Fantasy

Maybe I'm an insane author for wanting this. But I desperately want more history in my fantasy. Think Pan's Labyrinth. Or These Violent Delights. Or Shape of Water. (Yes, I am a Guillermo Del Toro simp, let's not talk about it). But I think there's a sort of fantastical magic in imagining the world we…

Mood.

It's been almost a month since I've last posted and I'm not well. Now, that's not because of the perspective shift I had last time around. I think that was something that needed to happen and I stick to it. There are no more monsters for me to fight. Alas, that doesn't mean I'm not…

What’s a Hero Without a Villain?

Quick content warning: discussion/allusion to self-harm and suicidality All my life, I never thought of myself as a warrior. I knew I went through a lot, but I always saw it as surviving. A warrior was noble and brave, who fought because they believed in something. I fought because it was that or not breathing.…

Liar, Liar

I haven't seen this movie, so let's take a moment to look up the plot on Wikipedia and then make an even shorter summary, shall we? Overworked dad is a sleazy lawyer and loves his son, but often neglects him for work. One day he wakes up and realizes he can only tell the truth…

How to Prepare Yourself for Therapy?

So, every week I have therapy. If you look across the internet, you can get a wide array of reactions to that sentence. For some people, they find it embarrassing, a waste of time. Others think it's a magic cure-all for every messy person they read about. Me, though? Well, I feel... neutral. Therapy is…

The Loneliness of Self-Parenting

TW: suicidal ideation and self-harm Once upon a time, I felt so sick and scared of my brain that I was the one who asked my mother if I could be hospitalized. She said no. It was days after I stayed up way too late one night crying, my brain dissociating and fractured, very aware…

Wearing My Pants Inside Out

I wish this title was a cute metaphor, I really do, but my dogs would totally rat me out and confirm that it is, indeed, not. Luckily it was only about 30 minutes before I figured it out but... hey, at least I have an apt title for today's blog. I was struggling a bit,…

A Monday that Puts The Dis in Disability

Oh boy, didn't know I'd be full-spiraling on disability talk for a while, did we? Well, sometimes disability life just be that. Disabled. So let's do a little storytime. I have been struggling because my brother and I fought and... well, he's just not the same person he used to be. Not the kind, sweet…

How to Make a Connection

Everytime I write about this subject, I feel so fucking silly and juvenile. But as a recent term I learned goes, my autism "spiky ball" has its own complications. So quick mental health knowledge for you, it's called Autism Spectrum Disorder lately because a good majority of autistic people can excel in certain areas but…

Disappointment Is a Board Game

Funny title, eh? Not really. It might be a little hyperbolic, but in my experience this weekend, it's just the cascading inevitability that I know has been coming but boy did I not want to deal with it. So, let's start with the analogy of the board game. This Sunday, my spouse and our friends…